Reflections on your first day of school
Months before "The Moment":
As we consider the possibility of you going to pre-school (2023) my heart tautens. Some days fear tries to get a hold of me. But I am fervently praying for wisdom and trusting that our loving, sovereign, powerful and faithful God will lead the way (every single step) as you walk back home (heaven). In the process I've identified three things that concern me the most: making the wrong call with this decision, the steadiness and solidity of your identity in an opinionated world (notions and reckless words) and cultural lies that may try to mislead you from the Truth (Jesus).
Making the wrong call. Recently a friend told me “Life is about making decisions. Sometimes we are going to mess up but even if that happens, God will use it to redirect your path and transform it an opportunity to learn. So, whatever decision you take regarding your daughter’s education it will be a blessing for your family because the mercy of the Lord is shown in the midst of any circumstance and decision you take." I want you to know that we prayed together every night for months and I know God heard us and moved in our behalf for His Glory. Proverbs 3:6 says: "In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth (removing obstacles that block your way)." I want you to know that we circled this decision in prayer and took it by faith.
Steadiness and solidity of your identity. I've experienced how painful rejection and malicious remarks can be. They assault your heart, making you feel inadequate, insecure, unwanted, even unloved; giving unto questioning your wonderful uniqueness and value. You will overcome some hurts quite easily, but others will pierce your heart and if unattended they can remain written into your own reflection. I genuinely wish I could protect you from that kind of hurt, but I know I can't. However, I do pray that when a painful experience like that comes your way, you remain grounded in the truth of what God thinks and says about you, so you never doubt nor neglect how beloved, fearfully and wonderfully made you are, and never lose the essence of who you are (which is lovely).
I want to teach you to be unoffendable, tough and thick skin. I want to tell you that you shouldn't care of what other people think or say about you, particularly mean and unkind people. But I've learned that holding tight to what God says about you is how you make it through. That keeping your heart tender despise hurt, not allowing it to harden with unforgiveness, jealousy, comparison or bitterness is actually the most effective toughness there is. And that kind of tough is the toughest you will ever experience.
Many times, it can be hard to obliterate the impressions of others, unless there is a truth to replace it with, and baby girl, there is. While writing these words I was reminded of promises God gave to us about you before you were even born. And let me tell you that I'm going to pray through and hold on to them because I know undoubtedly that God is trustworthy. Olivia, you are: beloved daughter, kind, fruitful, peacemaker; authentic faith, constant obedience, humble service, sound doctrine, brave conviction and in everything honors God. Comparison will knock at your door, but please know you don't have to play that game, you are uniquely created and having a grateful heart will protect your from it.
Cultural lies. I pray you learn to exercise discernment, to make wise decisions and that bad ideas won’t grow in your heart. You were born for such a time as this. My beloved Olivia, you are called to be a peacemaker. To make peace is to put Christ's love into action. Peacemaking seeks unity and harmony while having the ability to respectfully disagree and to call to account actions which cause harm and that which desires to incite division for divisions's sake. A peacemaker serves others with grace, pursues reconciliation, speaks the truth in love and engages the world with empathy, humility and wisdom. Matthew 5:9 says: "Blessed are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they will (express His character and) be called the sons of God." I pray that as your parents we do all that is in our hands to clearly communicate the truthfulness and validity of our faith, yes with arguments, but specially with our lives. I pray that the way we live portraits a reliable testimony of Jesus and an a tangible manifestation of the love and power of Jesus Christ.
They Morning before your first day
I felt reassured by the Holy Spirit. I read 1 Peter 5:7 that says: "casting all your cares (all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all) on Him, for He cares about you (with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully)."
They Night before your first day
Valentina means brave woman.“God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7). Your first day of school and all the days after will require bravery from both of us, but let me tell you, God made you brave and reminded me of the Spirit, He has given us, so that is why I believe we've got this. I do feel that "my heart is walking outside my body" and to a degree I feel sad because I won't be able to be physically be there to comfort you in case you need me to. However, despise all that, I am choosing to see this opportunity in color. Meaning, I am intentionally choosing to see this moment in wonder, in life, in grace, in gospel. We will testify of the goodness of the Lord in this season of your life and of our family's. I love you baby girl; I love you so much and I am expectant to keep seeing you flourish and thrive in everything you do, all the days of your life.
With love,
Mommy
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